Tokyo Animal Control
by ShadoeFox
Summary: A new guy in Tokyo's Animal Control Department gets to find out why he gets paid so well....yeah, so it's another of the Foxes weird thoughts, deal with it.


Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma 1/2, Sailor Moon, Tenchi Muyo, or the Tokyo Animal Control Department. Hell, I am just assuming they have that last one at all. I also don't own Godzilla...I think that covers everything.

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Tokyo Animal Control

"So, you're the new kid, huh?" Animal Control Officer Akuma Kamedaka said, looking over the young man he had just been introduced to by his supervisor.

"Yes, Sir!" The young man, Ataru Mako replied, smiling.

The older man nodded. "Ex-SDF, aren't you." It was a statement and not a question, but the younger man nodded. "Good, you'll need that here! Fighting Godzilla is nothing like this, but it's not a bad warm up."

Ataru stared at his training officer, expecting a joke. When the man looked serious he spoke up "Pardon me, sir, but how can catching stray dog's compare to Godzilla?"

The older man stood up. "Follow me." He proceeded out of the door, and into the kennel area, the new kid following him. "Tokyo is a city with literally millions of people in it, living and working with its limits. Some are ordinary like you and me, and keep just your average dogs and cats..." He gestured at the kennels and cages they where walking by, ignoring the barking and yowls except for raising his voice so he could be heard.

"Then you have the better trained guard, and attack, dogs who do sometimes get out on the streets without their owners. We keep them separate from the rest, since they sometimes rile them up." They passed the Dobermans and German Shepard's, carefully staying away from the cages and the growling dogs they contained.

Pushing through a set of thicker doors, they entered a large room with bigger then usual cages, fish tanks, and birdcages. "Then you have the "exotic" pets. Your snakes, your parrots and raptors, and even bigger and more dangerous or unusual things." This was said as they passed a cage with a fully-grown tiger sitting in it. "He's off to the Zoo, if you're wondering."

The older Animal Control Officer paused and chuckled. "I once remember having to pull a full-grown alligator out of a canal down in Nerima. We thought it was a "throwaway" pet someone smuggled in, till Ms. Kuno came and claimed it."

"I thought such large and dangerous animals were illegal?"

Officer Kamedaka waved that off. "She's a member of an old Samurai family. They still have enough influence to get the necessary permits. We did fine her a pretty penny, though." He continued walking. "None of this, however, is the interesting part of our jobs..."  
Pushing open another set of doors, which Officer Mako noted should be near the back of the building and the rear entrance, they entered the next room. Instead of another room of cages and tanks like he expected, they walked into what seemed like a very comfortable lobby. This isn't what shocked Mako, however.

The shock was that two cats, a pig, and a duck where playing cards on the coffee table in the middle of the room, complete with poker chips. "Hey guys, how's it going?"

The pig squealed a greeting, and the pink cat meowed. The duck quacked and waved a wing to the officers who had just entered the room behind him. Mako could actually accept that after the cards, though.

"Hey, Kamedaka...Who's the new kid?" The white cat said...Speaking clearly as if he was a man.

"Hey Artemis, this is Ataru Mako...its his first day on the job." 

The white cat nodded, and looked over the young officer. "Hello, good to have a new face around here."

"Wha?" Mako said, eyes wide in shock.

Kamedaka glanced at the piles of chips, noting Artemis had, as usual, the biggest. "Now, Artemis, you aren't stealing all Ryoga's money again, are you?" He asked.

"Naw, Shampoo here insisted we only play for fun."

The pink cat nodded, then held up a small sign. *Shampoo no want have pay for table, again. Last time Ryoga blow up it cost too much. *

The pig held up it's own sign. *I already said I was sorry fifteen times! Give me a break! *

The duck ignored the other signs, tossed down two cards, and held up his own. *Two off the top please, Artemis. * He quickly picked up the cards as the white cat dealt them. 

"Oh, Mako, these are Shampoo, Mouse, and Ryoga. Artemis as you can likely tell, is the one that can talk." 

"THAT CAT TALKS!" Mako repeated.

"Yeah, let's get you a drink." He grabbed the mans arm, and half dragged him into an alcove off one corner of the room, chuckling to himself. There they found a panda and a strange gray rabbit sharing a salad. Well, actually the Rabbit just ate the carrots while the panda devoured anything else in its chopsticks path.

"Hey Genma. The hot water broke again, then? I assumed you weren't here since the others hadn't changed."

*Seems so...* The panda's sign read. *Your coffee maker is broken too. *

"I'll stop by and tell Kasumi to come get you all, this afternoon. okay?" 

*Sure, sure. No problem, Akuma. Perhaps we can go for a beer later? *

Kamedaka nodded. "Sounds like a plan, panda man." Then looking at the Rabbit "And who are you? New to Tokyo?" 

The Rabbit meowed happily a few times, munching on a carrot chip.

Akuma raised an eyebrow at this, and looked at Genma. 

*Luna say's she is a member of a race of living, transforming space ships. Her name is Ryo Ohki. * He flipped the sign. *Artemis and Luna speak her language, but say she is very young. *

"No problem. Her owner on the way?"

Genma nodded. *Artemis called them. A sweet girl named Sasami, I believe. At least she sounded so on the speakerphone. *

Mako, who had FINALLY caught up with his blown away mind grabbed his training officer and yelled "THEY ARE ALIENS!"

"No! Well, except for the new kid." Gesturing to Ryo Ohki. "Oh, and Luna I suppose counts. She says she was born on the moon. Artemis comes from Atlantis, though, so he isn't exactly extraterrestrial."

Mako gave up the fight, and chose to pass out at that point, just as a black cat slipped into the room. 

She looked at the unconscious man, then to Akuma. "A rookie, hmmm? Well, he did get further then the last one! I will give him that."

"Yeah, I think he'll do fine."

Luna nodded, then dismissed that subject. "Well, if I remember correctly, you owe me a game of chess! Unless you are afraid of loosing to a cat...again."

"Lead on to the board...I assume you want black, as usual."

AN: Yes, I now most if not all the characters are out of character, and yes I know this idea makes no sense. But no one said I had to write LOGICAL things now did they. Thanks.


End file.
